Dear Love

 

Dear love,

I've always believed you are my purpose.

My "why" always come back to you.

To unconditionally give love is the greatest gift.

Romantic love, you are tricky.

I've been tirelessly chasing to find you my whole life.

Searching for love in others who could not love me long term, or at all.

I finally stopped chasing you last year.

Then I met him, and I thought this is it. 

The one I've gone through so much heartbreak for..all of it is worth it.

I could see it all.

Well, perhaps that wasn't his purpose.

I romanticized a different outcome.

You have a way of showing me that reality doesn't always match the idea of the love story I dream up.

I don’t want to give myself away right now.

Instead, my love is facing inward.

This season of love doesn’t include anyone else.

Is it okay that I'm not looking for you right now?

I'm looking for myself.

To be selfish as hell.

To light my soul on fire.

To feel the power of taking charge of my life.

To let go of the expectations of others.

To let go of my rationalizations of staying in a place I don't want to stay.

To let go of comfort because it's easy.

To turn to my intuition and not turn away at any cost.

I know you love when I honor my intuition when it comes to love.

I will move mountains for my love story.

But what about my life?

My intuition is lighting me up, and it's as if I'm covering my eyes to only see through the cracks.

This site doesn't include anyone else.

I need to take care of myself right now

Before I can take care of anyone else.

Not only because I want to, but because I need to.

I apologize to those I may hurt.

To those I may lose.

Underappreciate.

Oversee.

I'm only looking for me.

So I cannot look for you.