Stepping Back to Reflect
I know it’s been a little while since I’ve added a blog/vlog. I was focusing on in-person events, which gave me life! But then I also felt a bit burnt out and took a much needed break to relax. At times I can push myself beyond limits and don’t know when to stop.
I’m so thankful for a Glass Half Full; I’m inspired by the connections and strength I’ve seen others build along the way. Finding my voice has not only helped others, but it’s allowed me to step back and reflect on my own life.
I’ve dug in deep into my life to find where my surface level happiness was coming from, where I was making decisions based on short-term satisfaction. There are often deeper problems behind our discomfort, but you will only discover them if you take the time to step back and understand why it’s there.
For me, one consistent part of my life has been not choosing the right men. The result? I end up feeling the same way over and over again, used, hurt, or nothing at all. It’s hard to break this cycle, you think the next one will be different, but it’s not. I decided the best thing for me was not to make any decisions at all. This was the beginning of my 2018 sabbatical from men. That’s a separate video, because it’s changed my life and my self-love has deepened to a point where I can no longer tolerate the decisions I made before.
Sometimes you have to step back and ask yourself what can you control if you don’t like the outcome you’re getting.
You can never make someone like or love you. You can never make anyone show up for you. But what you can do, is choose how you show up for yourself.
This process for me has been interesting. I’ve realized I needed to heal some parts of my past, some of the stories I tell myself over and over again. At times it’s drained me because it’s as if you finally see your real pain. That’s what the journey to self love is all about. It’s not some quick fix. It’s digging deep into who you are and not running from it anymore.
Take a step back. Take a break from social media and all the noise that’s there. I love many parts of social media, but there are a lot of things I don’t like. It makes us feel the need to be a certain way, to post certain things for the most likes or engagement to get more followers.
Is that what life is about? I don’t care about any of that. What I want is a real connection with people who are here to lift each other up. It’s not about showing my body. Yes, I’m learning to love my body, but no I do not need to show it for the pure purpose to get likes. I will show it when I feel like I want to express myself in that way.